It’s Okay Not To Be Okay
Last winter, I had planned out my daily schedules, waking up at 8 am in the morning, looking forward to going to my biology lab with my best friend, eating delicious food in K-town after a week of stressful work. I knew there were people around me that I could count on when I wake up in the morning.
But like most people, my routine is no longer the same. I lacked the motivation to start my day. Every day, I would spend an absurd amount of time playing animal crossing on the switch, watching Netflix, and arguing with my parents about my productivity. As I was being so unproductive, I was also worrying that I would fall behind comparing to my peers. “My friends must be just doing perfectly fine. They must be doing internships during their free time. They must be getting good grades for their classes...” These are the thoughts I had in mind every day ever since I came back home from USC in March. I was stressed because I thought I was not performing well enough.
I soon realized that this cannot be sustainable for me. I was stressed because of the unrealistic expectations I have for myself. There are people who perform well under pressure, but there are people who don’t. We should accept the fact that it is okay to not be okay during a time like this during an ongoing pandemic, social unrest, and the election that will change the course of history. It’s is not just you who are feeling this way. Reach out to your friends, and check in on how they are doing. It is not an easy time for anyone. Trust me.
Finals week is coming up soon. As this semester was cut short because of the pandemic, our professors are trying to squeeze all the materials into this short period of time. The amount of stress from school adds on top of the stress from the pandemic and the election. Of course, we are all sick of zoom and online learning. Staring at a screen for 12 hours a day just cannot be fun.
If you can, put away a designated time for self-care. It can be a short half an hour for a skincare routine or even just one episode of your favorite Netflix show. Instead of falling into the loop of self-doubt and self-pity, start with the easiest task at hand and slowly work your way through.