Letting go of the Pre-Med Mindset
The pandemic posed the greatest threat my college career has ever experienced. Up until this point, every aspect of my life had been meticulously planned. Freshman year: join a club, sophomore year: shadow a physician, junior year: engage in leadership positions, senior year: get my name published. Being a college student on the pre-medical track had become more than a career path or aspiration, it consumed my life. When we were sent home, all of that was stripped away. How do I get clinical experience during the pandemic? Where can I volunteer? How do I stand out from everyone else? These are the questions that crossed my mind during my first couple months at home. The thousands of people contracting the virus had become an inconvenience, a roadblock in my beautifully planned map to becoming a physician.
I felt lost. Panicked, even. I had nothing to do to fill my days except think. Think about how this will set me behind, think about what my peers are doing with their time, think about how to fill all of this extra time I had.
This mindset arises from something I like to call “the fear of being normal”. Getting into medical school gets harder every year and nobody lets you forget it. Getting “good grades” and having a few experiences here and a couple awards there doesn’t cut it anymore. You have to be extraordinary in order to be “normal”. This idea isn’t limited to pre-med students, it applies to all college students, even high school students, and society as a whole. Recruiters are becoming more competitive, looking for individuals with an extensive list of experiences and internships. College admissions are becoming more selective with the increasing volume of applicants each year. Even social media forces us to compare our numbers: the likes, the followers.
But when did being “average” become a bad thing? This fear is perpetuated by the current systems that are set in place. Think about the way our classes are graded. The average grade is an indicator that you are performing at the same level as your peers. However, in a typical science class, the average grade is curved to a C, or even a B at best. The only way to get an A is to outperform your peers, to demonstrate excellence in the class. Yet schools accept those individuals with the A’s into their curriculum, and now you are put in a pool of equally excellent students, returning to “average”. Our obsession with productivity as a society is counterproductive, it pits us against each other. It makes students like myself feel like we constantly have to be on the move, to get that extra internship or research experience. It doesn’t leave time for relaxing, self-care, reflection, or self-discovery.
So how did I let go of this mindset?
Assess what kind of person you want to become.
I wanted to leave college a well-rounded person. Someone who is not only educated in her field, but also mature emotionally. Someone who is aware of the ongoing issues around her and has the resources and intellect to make a difference in the world. With only 2 years left of college, I wasn’t sure if I would leave college a different person. I started by educating myself beyond my field. I turned to podcasts, books, and articles to immerse myself in the communities around me.
Take time out of the day to reflect.
I took a break from all hospital related activities during the pandemic. Although I did not actively make this decision by choice, I am glad that I had this time to reflect on my current practices and assess what direction I wanted to take my life. I realized that when I was volunteering previously, there were instances where I did not appreciate the communities I was working with, or even thought of the experience as a chore. I also developed a newfound respect for health care workers and the medical field as a whole. I actually started to miss my time in the hospital interacting with patients and observing the teamwork required up-close in hospitals. The potential that science has to impact the world excited me, especially with worldwide collaborations on new scientific initiatives and advancements. By rekindling my passion for the medical field, I was able to find that driving force to keep up with my studies.
Take action.
Actually take the steps to become the person you want to be! By educating myself on the ongoing issues around me, I realized that I wanted to immerse myself into my communities to find ways to help others during the pandemic and uplift the voices that are not heard in society. I started hosting after school enrichment programs for elementary school students. I also founded an initiative with friends to assist those who were most vulnerable to the coronavirus.
College is a difficult time, even without the pandemic. It is also 4 years of your life that you will never get back. Enjoy the time that you have left, both the good and the bad. 10 years from now, you won’t remember what grade you got that one chemistry exam. You won’t even remember the class average for the exam. You will remember how hard you studied for it. The endless nights you spent in the library drawing out mechanism after mechanism. These habits will build up your work ethic, perseverance, and resilience. Don’t focus on the progress of your peers but work on becoming a newer, better version of yourself.